"Big Night" and Cleaning!

Last night, both Giuseppe and my husband were sleeping and even though I was pooped, I felt a tiny surge of energy and decided to run with it. My house was a mess...in a messy kind of way. I have all tile floors in a house surrounded by sandy, nature-y terrain. Let me add to that by saying, I am NOT a fan of "outside". You see, South Florida isn't exatly known for it's cool breezes. Being born in Germany in the deep winter and absolutely loving the act of freezing my little butt off...makes me hate the constant sweltering humid heat that is my environment.... Anyway, I have a front patio and a back yard..they both stretch the length of the duplex on either side and we continually drag dirt into our house...I literally should be sweeping all the time...its that annoying.

Plus my kitchen was icky...I cook a lot I guess. Well daily for almost every meal all the time...so its a pretty regular kinda thing. I'd like to believe most people do it :)

Needless to say...I was being lazy a cpl days and I constantly, internally guilt trip myself about any kind of unproductivity. I turned on my Netflix and watched "Big Night" and started to go into cleaning mode...loaded the dishwasher, cleaned the countertops, dining table swept and even did a cpl loads of laundry.

The whole time I listened in on the movie dialogue and soundtrack and thought back to when I was a kid. My dad had the soundtrack on tape and I always requested it for drives. It would just bring me back..then and now. It's just real old school italian stuff that moves my heart and soul and brings back this awesome nostalgia for this special moment in time, zeitgeist, if you will. I am 100% Sicilian, by the way, although I was born and raised in Germany. I never lived in Italy but I am through and through an Italian Fraeulein ;)

So yea...I thought a lot of things, some too personal to share but what it comes down to is that a lot of people lose a sense of who they truly are, as they move through life. They go from being this embodyment of an idea or sense of being....to constantly chasing this dream and giving everything up for it.
Its real important I think to hold dear where you come from and what it is that changed you because of that spacetime. Regardless of where youre from. Everyones origin in 100% unique in every way..and its not the city you live in...but your family and your relationships with people and what you were taught...when you were young...who you think back about and feel "wow". You build on those things...whether you build your character by taking down a wall that shouldnt be there or lay more bricks to make your foundation even stronger. Don't forget and be proud...silently within yourself.

Talking to my mom this morning, I said, "Now its our turn to pass down the torch."

Anyway, theres one particular scene towards the end where he's on his knees in the sand screaming..."what do you want to stay here for!...here!?...in this place that's eating us alive!!"....and i feel that way a lot. I feel that struggle and that pain...its disconnect and it hurts...but its just a shadow lurking in the background. I will conquer it by giving into it. Eventually!

KYD8Y2WAPJDW

Homemade Eggplant Tomato Sauce Recipe

ingredients:
2 small or 1 large eggplant (peeled & diced)
4-5 garlic gloves, minced
lots of fresh or dried basil
1-2 shallots, minced
salt
sugar
2 small cans or 1 large cane of plain tomato sauce

instructions:
Throw the chopped eggplant, garlic and onions in a medium sized pot. Add 2-3 tbsp of olive oil, 1 tsp salt, 1 tsp sugar and basil. Stir so everything gets mixed up equally and let everything simmer/sautee on low-medium heat, stirring occasionally. It's best to cover the pot with a lid inbetween stirring to ensure the eggplant gets cooked through and through.

Once you notice the eggplant going soft and dark, add the tomatoe sauce and stir. Season to taste...adding a little salt or a little sugar.

P.S. For the ppl that don't like a chunky sauce, instead of adding the sauce in...take the sauteed eggplant and friend and pour it into ur mixer to make it into a delicous puree....put it back in the pot and add sauce.
It give the sauce an evenly distributed super yummy eggplant taste!!

Cook for another 15 minutes and serve over your favorite pasta...mmmm...yumm!!!

i wrote this to a long lost friend a day or so ago...

if ur ever here...i would looove to rescue u ..any day any time! :)
id love to take a trip to NY w. G. & Jon....i was there for all of 2 days a little while ago...and i was incredibly in love and comfortable...such an awesome and awake place...nothing like id imagined it...much quieter and spacious, i guess i was expecting this crowded, deafing place...weird but i just remember being soo excited and then being soo surprised by how open and green and awesome it was...until the last day when it rained and i wanted to die..lol...

i think Nessa ran into a Hallmark and actually cried that day...it was really sunny and awesome the whole trip and the day we left..it rained and was super cold and windy..i mean u live there u know what im talking about...it was very...aggressive weather to say the least...but yea..she ran into Hallmark and into a corner and just cried for a moment...soo cute.. ;) it was incredibly endearing...dont tell her i told u ;)

and yes babies are amazing...im fully aware of how weird it is to say that to ppl...like, "hey omg u should have babies" lol...but it is sooo true....and i mean im the worst no frills girls ever..i really am not a kid lover or into other ppls kids...but...i always knew i wanted to have a baby u know or lots of em...right now im good... ;) im sort of skeptical as to whether or not i could top Giuseppe's awesomeness..or whether i could love anyone else equally...lol..stupid i know...

its hard to explain but being pregnant and having a son (i have a son..its still an unfamiliar thing to say for me ;) it changes you, especially being a female and being able to make a person..u know...i sit on my couch, its just another day at home and we're just hanging out and i just look at Giuseppe (a real person...full on there in all his shortness) and think, how awesome and weird that we just added this person to our life..he didnt exist before and now here he is....
and at first they are tiny, itsy bitsy...beautiful but helpless and they kinda look like they have no clue who they are or where they are lol...but u love them and want to hear their thoughts and communicate....but u just kinda take em with u silently ...take care of em...miss them when theyre sleeping...lol

and then you start seeing these miraculously super fast changes and progressions in their development...
one day he just started mumbling nothing and having a full on baby conversation with something..and i almost cried it was so awesome..a total miracle of life...and all of sudden u realize..hes a miniature person..and we were all once babies..and we all have moms..i mean its AWESOME!!...and they grow to show their love for u... they just throw themselves on u to get snuggled, no coordination just a basic need to be on u...its the best

its also super nice to have that kind of motivation..its self-less but it brings you closer and closer to your understanding and definition of what makes u happy...and whatever u were unsure about, whether it be a person or a path...it'll clear it right up...once u put everything into perspective as far as....would u want this around your kid...choices are soo easy...right away..as soon as i got pregnant it was soo clear to me..who i wanted around and who wasnt worth it...what id like to do..and what i shouldnt...

u know he's 8 months now..and just started saying mama and dada...and he looks at me and says mama to my face with conviction..he's been silent and now he says my name and smiles and waves and i totally understand everything he says w. his body and eyes and expression...
babies are super funny! all the time!...its crazy to just love this thing more than uve loved anything..and its not in a scary all consuming paranoid way..but in a you 2 equal 1 kinda way...no handbook necessary...
and another thing i thought was so awesome is that right after ur baby is born...you feel soo different...and i loved Jon before of course...but the craziest best part was... i've never felt a stronger love or connection between Jon and myself as i did right after Giuseppe was with us ..it was super strong and i just remember feeling so good when he was around..and sooo protective of him...like thats my kids dad...u know...lol..it makes u fall in love all over again but 1000 times harder than ever before w. anyone

i'll never forget it....
i could go on and on...all i know is..for a very non-fussy ungirly girl..im so greatful to have a boy..whose cool and doesnt cry and is super cute..and its been nothing but awesome..i cant wait for tomorrow and the next day...and i cant imagine him being a man someday..or being w. another person and getting married or being in relationship or him being taller than me...

def something worth experiencing in ones lifetime...whenever u feel so inclined...:)

anyway...i will not fb ur time away..i cant tell u how much u made my day by finding me...yayayay!!!..and enjoy ur nite...im gonna go home now...

xxx!!!

a quick intro....a little background...a little insight

so I'm 24 now and used to be a blonde and pink haired, 4'11 careless little girl who loved to dance and party a lot...slept little, mostly during the day...and i wasn't home much...

its been about a year a half since then and i met a super cute, mohawked identical twin, dancer party kid and dresser-upper....we decided to get married a few weeks after we met and couldn't wait to make babies happen! ;)

now im his wifey and the very proud mommy of little Giuseppe Francesco D....

i dont really have a direction i want to go with this little blogging endeavor...all i know is, im curious about people and i always love getting a glimpse into someones life, whether it be their home, an experience...their thoughts, etc.

so here is a glimpse into my world...the good...the annoying...and all the things i think about in between...if i feel its worth sharing...

enjoy!